When people are triggered by you

So yesterday I found out that in certain groups on the internet, on Facebook groups that people talk all the time about what a bitch I am and how they can't handle my live streams, and I'm just like okay, I'm just gonna say something directly to those people right now.

Just so you know, if you say that you can't even, even with me, and you can't handle my live streams, and did you see what she did on her latest live stream, I'm just gonna point out the obvious which is that the only way you know that is 'cause you're watching the fucking live stream.

So technically that makes you a magnetised as fuck fan who's triggered as fuck by the way. And if you are triggered and emotionally charged by me that's because I'm being a mirror and because I'm confronting anew something that you know you get to address inside of you and basically probably you're gonna become a client in about a year and then you're gonna tell me that you used to hate me and bitch about me behind the scenes, but I already knew 'cause other people told me.

If you didn't actually care, if you weren't like connected to me on a soul level in some sort of a way then you wouldn't watch the live streams and you wouldn't bitch about me behind the scenes and you wouldn't care, you'd be like I'm not interested, I'm not attracted to her, I'm not magnetised by her, and you would just not even observe or know, or like you literally wouldn't care, right? It happens all the time Alyssa. I actually was a little shocked because I'm so in a love bubble of my own cult and my own world that I've created that I haven't heard it for a while, but I used to be much more conscious of it, and to answer the person's question who asked about this, I knew about it more and I was conscious of it because I was concerned about it and because it would cause me to shrink and be worried and like not speak my truth. And then I just gradually over time let go of that because I still care, like yesterday I was like, I was triggered and I was a little hurt, I was like oh, I was actually like oh, I thought everybody loved me now. I really did, I was like oh. Well, okay. And then I was like oh well technically I suppose I can believe, like I do actually know that people don't like me, but I kind of forgot because I'm only surrounded by love.

So I was a little triggered, and I was like kind of like I think I wanna go right into their houses and like cook them dinner and just sit them down and just explain to them like just so you understand I'm a nice person, and I'm actually like really, so I'm like really introverted and quiet in real life and everything as well. I think you would like me, right? Like really, I'm an actual, like I'm, like I'm, like I'll buy you a present, I'll bring you chocolate, I'll do that, I do that all the time anyway.

So I kind of felt like I need to, I need to deal with this situation so that people understand how awesome I actually am, but then the other part of me was like not fuck them, I like, I got into curiosity and I like I think it's funny because the reason I said, I'm like well if you're watching my live streams then it means you're a fan, like just technically, like just saying, so I think it's funny.

But also even if I feel hurt or even if I've lost people along the way and I've lost friends and I've lost some clients along the way who I got too much for them, I got too intense for them, and some of them came back and then they were like you got too much for me, you got too intense for me, I couldn't handle it, it was like a trigger for me.

Like one of my newest clients who joined my inner circle, like first thing he did introducing himself is oh probably like a lot of people here when I first come across the truth is I wanted to punch her through the computer screen. I was like aw, people say the sweetest things about me. And for real though, my clients say that all the time, right, so it's really, really common and normal. Oh thank you, thank you for the present, in a box.

So anyway, my point is I got to a point of understanding that my message and my art and speaking my truth is more important and bigger than what people wanna say about me, right? And that I have to put that first.